This book applies to all close relationships, but it would be especially helpful for newlyweds or especially couples considering a life together. You see, each of us feels loved by different things, grouped into 5 categories: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. What’s important about this book is learning to understand those “Love Languages,” how to understand what your partner’s love language is, and learning to “speak” that love language.
My definition of love is “the willingness to do that which serves the highest good for another.” Feeling loved is maybe one of the most important qualities in a person’s life, and learning to help them feel loved through learning how they experience it is certainly a powerful way to express love – in the other person’s terms, not your own. The challenge is that your love language is not necessarily the same as your partner’s. So if you only express love in your own love language, and that language is different than your partner’s, they are not going to “understand” the love you are expressing. They aren’t going to “hear” it. They will feel unloved… by you at least.
One comment I would make that is not covered in the book – maybe Dr. Chapman disagrees with this however it is what I have observed myself: The love language you “speak” is not necessarily the same as the love language you “hear.” So I believe it’s important to differentiate between the two, and recognize what your partner needs to “hear” and how to speak that language.
This book is required reading, unless you plan on being a hermit. Even then maybe you should read it so that you can learn to speak your own love language to yourself.